Sagebrush Sally: Don’t Get Drafted Into Someone Else’s Desert Drama

Dear Sagebrush Sally, 

It feels like no matter what happens in Tecopa, someone expects you to pick a side. Even when you don’t want to be involved in a feud, people assume your silence is support for the “other” side. How do you stay neutral and kind in a town that treats every disagreement like a civil war? 

— Stuck in the Middle

Dear Stuck in the Middle,

You’ve named one of Tecopa’s most persistent desert mirages: the belief that every disagreement requires a battle line, and every resident must declare loyalty to one camp or the other. In a big city, this kind of thinking gets lost in the noise. In a small town, it echoes until people start mistaking the echo for truth.

Let me be clear: you are not required to pick a side just because someone else is angry.

Silence is not consent, and neutrality is not betrayal. Sometimes neutrality is just… not wanting to participate in someone else’s unfinished business.

People who insist you “choose a side” are often trying to recruit emotional reinforcements because they’re unsure of their own footing. It’s not really about you — it’s about validating their version of the story. And when you decline to enlist, some folks take that as rejection. That’s their interpretation, not your responsibility.

You can say, plainly and calmly:
“I’m not involved, and I’m not taking sides. Please don’t put me in the middle.”
After that, you’re not explaining or defending. You’re just holding the boundary.

Because here’s the truth no one likes to say out loud: choosing sides in a small town almost always backfires. Feuds burn hot, then burn out—long before the relationships you’ll need to keep living peacefully out here. And the people who pressured you to join their crusade often move on to a new target while you’re left holding the ashes.

There is strength in refusing to be triangulated.
There is integrity in staying consistent.
There is kindness in refusing to escalate the tension.

Tecopa doesn’t need more soldiers in its skirmishes. It needs more adults in the room—people who can disagree without detonating, and who can listen without being drafted into someone else’s war.

Hold your middle ground. It’s not the safe place — it’s the wise one.

— Sagebrush Sally